I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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