So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
