i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
