Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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