By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
