This girl is more easily done than said...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
