He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
