so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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