i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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