i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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