apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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