she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So much Jack, so little girl.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
