I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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