can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
