the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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