school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
