Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
