The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
