Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
