they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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