Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
