I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
