I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
