And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
