At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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