in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
