We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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