The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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