We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The struggles of a small town man whore
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
