Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
