i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize