Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Randomize