He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
