yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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