im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
