Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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