it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
