Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
