I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can you bring me the toilet please
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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