I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
