i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
