Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
