please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
