this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
