shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
