he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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