Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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