that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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