But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
