mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
