So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
