i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
