dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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