Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
