i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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