but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I forget how to act sober
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
