I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Randomize
