You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wear drunk well.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
