I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
