i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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