If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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