He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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