Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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