Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
id be glad to
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
