when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
