the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
