the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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