Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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