I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the day after is always just damage control
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
