i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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